* Strange Story Story of the Cigars
A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, having purchased
a case of very expensive cigars, insured them against,
among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked
his entire stockpile, the man filed a claim against the
insurance company, stating that the cigars were lost 'in
a series of small fires'.The insurance company refused to
pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed
the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued – and won.
In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim
was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a
policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it
would insure against fire, without defining what it
considered to be 'unacceptable fire', and was obliged to
pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly
appeal the insurance company accepted the ruling
and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars
he had lost 'in the fires'.
After he cashed the cheque, however, the company had
him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own
insurance claim and testimony from the previous case
being used against him, the man was convicted of
intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced
to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
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'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one
fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'It's Thursday.'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
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8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks,
new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how
hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft.
Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and
it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter
how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to
nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them
what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the
prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina
guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came
up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER THIS IS TRUE ...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer.
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LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was running up and down the halls
in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip
up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally
answered, '...........I'll take the soup.'
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Funny Emails For Old Friends:
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many
the other and said,
decades. Over the years, they had shared all
kinds of activities & adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were
playing cards when one
looked at
'Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends
for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.'
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping
Her friend glared at her. For at least three
minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said,
'How soon do you need to know?----------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Emails Subject: Anyone who has ever dressed
a child will love this one!
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping
one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy
boots?
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with
her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't
want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on,
she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when t
he little boy said,"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
he little boy said,"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't
any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting
them on. She managed to keep her cool as together
they worked to get the boots back on - this time on
the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face
and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted
to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the
ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
No sooner they got the boots off and he said,
"They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me
wear 'em."
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.
But, she mustered up the grace and courage she
had left to wrestle he boots on his feet again. Helping
him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your
mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the
toes of my boots."
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