And you thought you were dumb!!!

Will and Guy's - Tech Support Jokes


We have selected the best ten Tech Support Jokes.  They were take by advisors at BT, HP and Dell.


1) Customer: 'My disk ran out of space when trying to save my Word document, so I changed it from double spaced to single spaced and it still wouldn't fit!'


2) Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.


3) Great Vision
3a) Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' 
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'


3b) Advisor: Can you click on 'My Computer'?
Customer: I don't have your computer, just mine.


3c) Advisor: You have Spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.
Customer: Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?


3d) Customer: My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but they can't see me.
Advisor: What brand is your webcam?
Customer: What's a webcam?




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4) No Saving Grace
Customer: 'All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!' 
Tech Support: 'Do you remember what directory you first saved them in?'


Customer: 'No, I don't . I just know it was on my C: drive.' 
Tech Support: 'Ok, I'll walk you through how to find the files.'


Customer: 'I wouldn't think I would be losing files on this 
computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.' 


5) Tricky Install
Customer: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?' 
Tech Support: 'Ok, I can help you install the software. Would
 you like me to do that?'
Customer: 'Yes.'


Tech Support: 'All right, can you insert the disk in the disk 
drive please?' 
Customer: 'How?'


Tech Support: 'Place the disk in the opening at the front of the 
computer.' 
Customer: 'Will I have to have my computer delivered before 
we can do this'


Tech Support: 'Um yes, that might be an idea.'


6) Customer: My iPod will only play one song.
Advisor: Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes? 
Customer: Do I need to download tracks?


7) Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of your software 
and data?' 
Customer: 'I didn't know it had a reverse.' 


8) Customer: How do I change channel on my monitor?
Advisor: Your monitor won't have channels like a TV.
Customer: But I was watching the internet channel the other day 
and now I just get the word processing channel.


9) Customer: My mouse mat isn't wired up.
Advisor: I'm not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn't have 
any wires.
Customer: Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?
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Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #9


If we are unlucky enough to be involved in a car accident, of 
course it is never our fault.  The following quotes show what
 people write on their insurance claim forms.  Apparently these
 are strange but true stories.


Motor Insurance Quotes from Claim Forms


1. "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my 
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.".


2. I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had 
been run over before.


3. I collided with a stationary tramcar coming the other way.


4. I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either 
were to blame it was the other one (Irish).


5. I left my Austin Seven outside and when I came out later to my 
amazement there was an Austin Twelve.


6. Car had to turn sharper than was necessary owing to an 
invisible lorry.


7. To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.


8. "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.".


9. The other car collided with mine without giving any warning 
of its intention.


10. The other man altered his mind so I had to run into him.


11. I told the other idiot what he was and went on.


12. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


13. I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman 
was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.


14. I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found
 when I put my head through it.


15. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself
 the accident would not have happened.


16. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.


17. Cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that 
the cow was half-witted.


18. Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped 
back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.


19. There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.


20. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because
 he gored my car.
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