HOW THE STIMULUS CHECK WORKS

STIMULUS CHECK

 Many of you people out there, reading the information

put out by our government, just may not understand the

Stimulus Check payout plan very clearly. I found this 

explanation and it seems to make everything quite clear. 

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Just in case you are a senior citizen and have received  a 

check for $250.00. This is a very exciting program. I'll

explain it by using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to

     taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From the taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a tiny,little bit.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a 

     high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia?

A. Shut up!  You  got your check.

Here are some helpful advice on how to best

help our economy by spending your stimulus

check wisely:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your 

    money will go to China.

2 .If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to 

    Saudi Arabia.

3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to 

    Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.

5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to

    Taiwan.

7. If you pay off your credit cards. or buy stock, it will 

    go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in 

    offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in"America"by

doing the following;

1. Spending it at yard sales or flea markets.

2. Going to baseball, basketball or football games.

3. Hiring prostitutes.

4. Buying cheap beer.

5. Getting tattoos.

These are the wholly-American-owned businesses still 

operating in the U.S.

Conclusion:

The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a 

ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale

and drink beer all day until you are drunk enough to 

get tatooed.