He really is an idiot.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.(think about it!)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad..
Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a "use by" date?
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter,
she is perfectly satisfied.
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who
know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing
One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details.
Details are always vulgar.
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time
that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details.
Details are always vulgar.
.A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
Keep love in your heart.
A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
=================================================
10 Laws of Computing
If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer,
it's probably obsolete
.
When you are computing, if someone is watching, whatever happens, behave
as though you meant it to happen.
When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.
The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where
you'd least expect to find it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
To err is human ... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more
human, its downright natural.
He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved
from a simpler system that worked just fine.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what
you want it to do.
====================================================
Our politicians have a new way to balance the budget and it's pretty simple.
BREAKING NEWS!!
To save the economy, on August 1, 2011, the government will start deporting old people, instead of illegals, in order to
lower Social Security & Medicare costs!
I started crying when I thought of you.
Run you old buzzard...run
Well.... Someone sent it to me & I AIN'T GOIN' ALONE!
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