Humor Blog #2

Today's Work Humor


Friday, September 16, 2011
George Washington and the Cherry Tree


Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. For bathroom 
facilities, they had to use an outhouse. The little boy hated it because
 it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time.


The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy 
determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the water.


One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy 
decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So 
he got a large stick and pushed. Finally, the outhouse toppled into 
the creek and floated away.


That evening his dad sternly told him to sit down. Knowing he was 
in trouble, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone 
pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"


The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, 
I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a 
cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."


The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father 
wasn't in that cherry tree!"
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As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was 
having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, 
"Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.


Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers 
in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonna eat your fingers!" pretending
 to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.


When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her 
fingers with a devastated look on her face.


I said, "What’s wrong, Honey?"


"Mommy, where’s my booger?"
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Friday, September 16, 2011
Bee Sense


A long time ago, there was a beehive in the middle of a forest.


Every day, the worker bees would go out into their fields, gather 
pollen from the flowers, and bring it back to make honey.


The bees had a problem, though, because every so often an intruder 
would come around, such as a bear who wanted the honey, or kids 
who thought it'd be fun to throw rocks at the hive.


Finally, the bees got tired of it. Being the intelligent bees that they are, 
they built an alarm system for the hive. They built it such a way that 
when one bee would pull a lever, it would trigger an alarm that the bees 
could hear from the fields. When the worker bees hear the alarm, they 
could swarm back to protect their home.


There was one bee who was exclusively assigned the job of setting 
off the alarm, and he was aptly named the "Lever Bee." His job was to
 watch for signs of danger and pull the lever to sound the alarm.


Now obviously, the security of the hive depended on this one Lever 
Bee. So he had to be constantly ready and on the alert to be able to 
do his job. And that, friends, is why people say, 
"I'm as ready as a Lever Bee."
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Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #144


Some of these you will have heard before, one or two may irritiate, 
but we hope at least one will make you chuckle.


1) Did you know that....?


More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes. 


Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a 
year. 


No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver 
and purple. 


The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. 


The only two nations whose name begins with an "A," but doesn't 
end in an "A," are Afghanistan and Azerbaijan.


A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.  


Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered 
blood donors. 


2) Why?


Why are boxing rings square? 


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the 
batteries are flat? 


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion 
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?  


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake 
up, like, every two hours? 


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know 
there is not enough? 
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