Friday, April 1, 2011

Humor Blog #4

I have to confess, I enjoy life! In my lifetime, I have had my up's & downs just

the same as anyone else who lives and breathes.Thats just the way life is! Don't waste it!  You only get one chance to ride this "life-time" trail of life, so make sure that you enjoy it.
I have scrounged(sponged,mooched & pilfered) from the internet, "all of the 
free jokes and stories" that I could find so that I could make up some Blogs under:"It is Time for Humor"

Bubba and Jim Bob.

Bubba and Jim Bob walked into a hardware store.

As it turned out, they each won a door prize. Jim
Bob won a power saw, and Bubber won a toilet

They took their prizes home, and a week later, they
were chatting to each other while sitting on the
porch, whittling.

Bubba said, "What you gonna do with that there
power saw?

Jim Bob answered, "Don't rightly know, Bubba...
I don't got any 'lectricity, so its purty near useless
to me."  " How you doing with that toilet brush?"

Bubba sucked on his teeth for a few seconds, then
said, "Well Jim Bob, its ok,  I guess, but I think  I'll
go back to using paper...


--Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.
One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid
twenties.   These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a
man go into or leave their apartment.   Do you think they could be Lebanese?

--Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl
Language and Violence On My VCR?

--Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust.   He cheats so much, I'm
not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

--Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has
been on the pill for two years.   It's getting expensive and I think my
boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough
to discuss money with him.

--Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around,
and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said
it would never happen again.

--Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo.   Why would a
boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

--Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world.   I've seen it.  Now
how do I get out

--Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist
$50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years.   He must be crazy.

--Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't
know he drank until one night he came home sober.

--Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is
going through mental pause.

--Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all
interest in sex to send him to a doctor.   Well, my husband lost all
interest in sex and he is a doctor.   Now what do I do?

--Remember!   These people can vote!

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.

The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the night shift, he sleeps with the woman next door."
Costume  Party!

A couple was invited to a  swanky costume party.  The Mrs. got a terrible headache and  told her husband to go to the party alone.

He  being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was  going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for  his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his  costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about  an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided  to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her  costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her  husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She  joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on  the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping  a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His  wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he  left his   current  partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had  just arrived.

 She let him go as far as he wished ,naturally,  since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little  proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So  off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just  before unmasking at midnight,  she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed,  wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his  behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and  she asked what kind of a time he had.

 He said: "Oh, the same  old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not  there."

- "Did you dance much ?"

- "I'll tell you,  I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill  Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker  all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the  guy I loaned my costume to...."


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