SOMEWHAT HUMOROUS

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #121

** Mathematics of Marriage**

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
===================================================

** Man forced to marry four wives in six months **

A Saudi man is in hospital after his divorced parents forced him to marry four times
 within six months. The battle began when the father insisted the boy should marry
a girl from his side of the family.

The mother retaliated by ordering him to wed a girl from her side, reports Arab News
quoting Al-Watan daily.
But the father wasn't happy with the balance of power and insisted on a third wife
from his side, to show who was boss.
The mother, not to be outdone, then demanded that her son include another wife
 from her side of the family.

The son has now been admitted to a hospital for psychological treatment.
 He is refusing to see his parents or his wives.
========================================================
August 16th


Quote of the Day
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Vince Lombardi

Love Quote of the Day
Kisses, even to the air, are beautiful.
Drew Barrymore

Art Quote of the Day
The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.
Orson Welles

Nature Quote of the Day
The butterfly counts not months but moments,
and has time enough.
Rabindranath Tagore

Funny Quote of the Day
My interest is in the future because
I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
Charles Kettering

August 16th Birthdays
Bob Balaban, Bruce Beresford, Carol Moseley Braun, Charles
 Bukowski, George Galloway, James Cameron, Kathie Lee
 Gifford, Madonna Ciccone, Stockwell Day, Suzanne Farrell,
 Vanessa Carlton, Wilhelm Wundt



August 15th

Quote of the Day
There are many men of principle in both parties in America,
 but there is no party of principle.
Alexis de Tocqueville

Love Quote of the Day
Where there is great love, there are always wishes.
Willa Cather

Art Quote of the Day
My eyes were made to erase all that is ugly.
Raoul Dufy

Nature Quote of the Day
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet,
so who am I to judge?
Douglas Adams

Funny Quote of the Day
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen

August 15th Birthdays
Andres Serrano, Anthony Anderson, Ben Affleck, Debi Mazar,
Jennifer Lawrence, Jim Dale, Judy Biggert, Lukas Foss,
 Napoleon Bonaparte, Paul Rand, Sri Aurobindo, Stephen Breyer



August 14th

Quote of the Day
Harmony makes small things grow, lack of it makes
great things decay.
Sallust

Love Quote of the Day
The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
Albert Ellis

Art Quote of the Day
The real art of conducting consists in transitions.
Gustav Mahler

Nature Quote of the Day
Those who build beneath the stars build too low.
Edward Young

Funny Quote of the Day
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win,
 you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
================================================

From The London Times:  A Well-Planned Retirement Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant..... The fees for cars ($1.40), for buses (about $7).  Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn' t show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent.  The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.  The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.  Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years.  Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars ...... and no one even knows his name.  I think this is my favorite e-mail ever! =======================================================================