There were once four wise Indian medicine men who were considered
to be the most clever and knowledgeable across all the prairies and
forests. They learned nearly everything about nearly anything and
were often asked for advice and to find solutions for the most difficult
problems.
One day, a young Indian boy asked which of the four was the wisest
because of course there must be one more wise than the others.
This caused much arguing and debating among the people. To find
out once and for all, one of the elders of the nation was given the
task of devising a test to settle the matter.
After much consideration, the perfect test was put before them.
The four medicine men were told to walk into the woods. Their test
would be found at the base of a single cedar tree in a broad clearing.
They started out early the next morning and, after walking many
miles, came to the tree in the clearing. At the base of the tree was
a large pile of bleached bones. They appeared to be those of
some sort of animal. The four puzzled over the bones for some
time before the first man spoke. 'I will use my knowledge to put
these bones back together. That will prove my wisdom.' After
some time, the bones stood erect and interlocking.
The men examined the project and the second man said, 'Ah,
I know where these bones came from. I can put flesh and fur
back on them and restore the animal's beauty.' The second man
began his work, and in a while a fierce-looking grizzly bear stood
before them.
The four men marvelled at the animal's beauty, but the two began
to bicker about which ones work was best. Just then, the third
man spoke up, 'I believe I can bring the bear back the life. Then
I will be the greatest of all.'
The fourth man had been quiet until now. 'Wait, I don't think our
test was to see if we could bring the animal back to life.' He
pleaded, but the others would not listen. When he realised he
was being ignored, he quietly climbed to the top of the cedar
tree and watched.
The third man got busy and soon had breathed life into the
grizzly bear using his great talents. The bear stretched and
roared. Then he chased the men growling and clawing at
them. He chased them all the way back to their village where
they were finally rescued by the village's mighty hunters.
Later, the fourth wise man walked back to the village.
Everyone had taken him for dead, the others were so busy
arguing they did not see him climb the tree. It was then that
everyone realised that he was indeed the wisest of all.
He possessed common sense: something that is often
not so common.
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This true, short and funny story is about an English woman who was
planning a trip of a lifetime to India. She had booked in to stay in a
small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was
concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC.
In Britain, a bathroom is occasionally called a WC
which stands for "Water Closet".
This, rather genteel lady wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring
about the WC. The school master who was not very fluent in
English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC.
Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and
concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a
"Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered
their minds.
The Hilarious Reply
Dear Madam,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located
9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove
of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding
229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there
are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest
you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room.
This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the
habit of going regularly.
It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was
married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband.
It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat.
It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces.
We can take photos in different angle.
My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has
been almost! a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.
You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch
and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute
and arrive just in time.
I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as
there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent
and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.
The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person
enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all
since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you
there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster.
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The Braggart: An Amusingly Droll, Silly Short Story
One day at work, Bob was bragging that he knew everyone that
was anyone. His boss, Rod, got tired of his boasting and
decided to check it all out.
He said, 'OK Bob, how about Clint Eastwood? Do you know him?'
'Oh sure,' said Bob. 'He and my Dad shoot grouse together and
he's a great guy.'
'OK, prove it,' said Rod. 'Let's fly out to Carmel, USA, and you
can introduce me.'
'Great.' said Bob. And so they did. They took a taxi to Mr.
Eastwood's estate, Bob knocks on the door,Mr. Eastwood
opens it and shouts, 'Bob! Hey, great to see you! You and
your friend come on in and have lunch.'
Ron was very was impressed, but still rather sceptical. When
they left after lunch, he said, 'That was a coincidence that y
ou knew Clint Eastwood. How about President Obama?'
'Sure, I know him,' replied Bob. So, they fly off to Washington,
DC and head to the White House. As they are touring the
grounds, Mr Obama sees Bob and comes right over saying,
'My word, Bob, I haven't seen you in a couple years. Come
on in, have some coffee and let's catch up.'
After a couple hours, Bob and his boss, Ron, are escorted off
the White House grounds and Bob asks his boss, 'Well, do
you believe me now?'
His boss, shaken and a bit bewildered, but still not completely
convinced says, 'I'll believe you if you show me you know one
more person - the Pope.'
'Certainly,' says Bob, 'I've known Pope Benedict since I was
just a little kid. Let's fly over to Italy.'
So, off to Rome they fly and join a mass of people in
St Peter's Square waiting to catch a glimpse of the Pope.
Bob says, 'There's no way I can get the Pope's attention
with all these people here. How about if I go talk to one of the
guards I know and then I'll come out on the balcony and wave.'
Ron patiently waits as Bob heads off into the crowd. About
15 minutes later, the Pope emerges on the balcony and right
beside him is Bob waving to the crowd.
When Bob returned a few minutes later to where he had left
his boss, there were paramedics there surrounding his boss
laying on the ground - he had had a heart attack. Bob rushes
up and asks what happened. Ron looks up at him and gasps,
'I was doing OK when you came out on the balcony. But then
the guy next to me asks 'Hey, who's that up on there on the
balcony with Bob?'
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to
appreciate it.
Franklin P. Jones
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Invention is the mother of necessity.
Thorstein Veblen
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2
.
Grabel's Law
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
.
Henry J. Tillman
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless
I buy something.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jackie Mason
Most people have seen worse things in private than they
pretend to be shocked at in public.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Edgar Watson Howe
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A Classic Fairy Story
Once upon a time there was a good old woman who lived in a little house. She had in her garden a bed of beautiful striped tulips.
One night she was awakened by the sounds of sweet singing and of babies laughing. She looked out at the window. The sounds seemed to come from the tulip bed, but she could see nothing.
The next morning she walked among her flowers, but there were no signs of anyone having been there the night before.
On the following night she was again wakened by sweet singing and babies laughing. She rose and stole softly through her garden. The moon was shining brightly on the tulip bed, and the flowers were swaying to and fro. The old woman looked closely and she saw, standing by each tulip, a little Fairy mother who was crooning and rocking the flower like a cradle, while in each tulip-cup lay a little Fairy baby laughing and playing.
The good old woman stole quietly back to her house, and from that time on she never picked a tulip, nor did she allow her neighbours to touch the flowers.
The tulips grew daily brighter in colour and larger in size, and they gave out a delicious perfume like that of roses. They began, too, to bloom all the year round. And every night the little Fairy mothers caressed their babies and rocked them to sleep in the flower-cups.
The day came when the good old woman died, and the tulip-bed was torn up by folks who did not know about the Fairies, and parsley was planted there instead of the flowers. But the parsley withered, and so did all the other plants in the garden, and from that time nothing would grow there.
But the good old woman's grave grew beautiful, for the Fairies sang above it, and kept it green; while on the grave and all around it there sprang up tulips, daffodils, and violets, and other lovely flowers of spring.
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Two Men in a Hospital Ward
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each
afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was
next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend
all of his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives
and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the
military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could
sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate
all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour
periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened
by all the activity and colour of the world outside. The
window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and
swans played on the water while children sailed their
model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst
flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline
could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window
described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other
side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the
picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a
parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear
the band - he could see it, in his mind's eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse
arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless
body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully
in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked
if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was
happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was
comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he
propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look
at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to
look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his
deceased roommate who had described such wonderful
things outside this window. The nurse responded that
the man was blind and could not even see the wall
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