Justice Served?????

 Can You Believe This? Could It Only Happen in the USA?


A jury of her peers awarded a woman from Austin, Texas 
$780,000  after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who 
was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the 
store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering 
the misbehaving tyke was the woman's own son.


A 19 year old youth from Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical 
expenses when his neighbour ran his hand over with a Honda 
Accord. The young man apparently didn't notice someone was 
at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.


A thief from Bristol, PA, was leaving a house he had robbed 
through the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to 
go up, the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't 
re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and 
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, 
so the robber. found himself locked in the garage for eight days. 
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and 
a large bag of dry dog food. This upset the thief, so he sued the 
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue 
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars 
and change.


A man from Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500  and 
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
 door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's 
fenced-in yard, as was the man. The award was less than sought 
because the jury felt that the man who, at the time, was shooting the 
animal repeatedly with a pellet gun might have provoked the dog.


A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay a woman from 
Lancaster, PA, $113,500  after she slipped on a spilled soft drink 
and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because the 
woman had thrown it at her boyfriend thirty seconds earlier during 
an argument.


A woman from Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner 
of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the 
bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. 
This occurred while she was trying to sneak through the window in 
the lady's room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was 
awarded $12,000  and dental expenses


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Hot Air?


A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude 
and spotted a woman tending to the flowers in her garden. He 
descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me, can you help me? 
I promised a friend that I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't
 know where I am.'


The woman below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering
 approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and
 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west 
longitude.'


'You must be an Accountant,' said the balloonist.




'I am,' replied the woman, 'How did you know?' 


'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically 
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the
 fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. 
If anything, you have delayed my journey.'


The woman below responded, 'You must be in Management.'


'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'


'Well,' said the woman, 'you don't know where you are, or where you're 
going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. 
You made a promise of which you have no idea how to keep, and you 
expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are 
in exactly the same position you were in before we met, 
but somehow it's now become my fault!'
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Seven Funny True Stories


a) In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name
 into Schweppes Toilet Water.


b) In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan 'finger-lickin' good' 
came out as 'eat your fingers off.' 


c) An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish 
market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired 'I Saw
 the Pope' in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed 'I Saw the Potato.'


d) Ford had a problem naming a car in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. 
The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for 'tiny male 
genitals'. Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, 
which means horse.


e) When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were 
supposed to say, 'It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you.'  
However, the company mistakenly thought the Spanish word 'embarazar' 
meant embarrass. Instead the ads said, 'It wont leak in your pocket 
and make you pregnant.'


f) The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. 
Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands 
of signs had been printed that the phrase means, 'bite the wax tadpole' 
or 'female horse stuffed with wax' depending on the dialect. Coke then 
researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic 
equivalent, 'ko-kou-ko-le,' which can be loosely translated as 
'happiness in the mouth.'


g) To even it up Will and Guy found this one from Coca Colas rival.
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan 'Come alive with the Pepsi 
Generation' came out as 'Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead.'
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Good Business?






Paul, a senior official in his company, walked into a London bank 
and asked to see the loan's manager. 


He said he was going to America on business for two weeks and 
needed to borrow £10,000 [$19,000USD]. The loan manager said that 
the bank would need some collateral for such a loan. 


Paul immediately handed over the keys of a Mercedes that was parked 
on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan 
officer accepted the car as security for the loan. 


An employee then drove the Mercedes into the bank's underground garage
 and parked it there. Two weeks later the Paul returned, repaid the £10,000 
and the interest, which amounted to some £9.41 [$18USD]. 


The loan officer said, 'We do appreciate your business and this transaction 
has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away 
we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is 
why you would bother to borrow £10,000?'


With a broad grin Paul responded, 
'Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for less than £10?'
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